Jealousy: Out of Style
Robert Wurtz II
People do not despise a thief if he steals to satisfy himself when he is starving. Yet when he is found, he must restore sevenfold; He may have to give up all the substance of his house. Whoever commits adultery with a woman lacks understanding; He who does so destroys his own soul. Wounds and dishonor he will get, And his reproach will not be wiped away. For jealousy is a husband’s fury; Therefore he will not spare in the day of vengeance. He will accept no recompense, Nor will he be appeased though you give many gifts. (Proverbs 6:30-35)
I was recently reading an article written to Dear Abby, in which a young woman was distraught because her boyfriend refused to cover over a tattoo of his ex-girlfriend’s name. He would even get angry at the suggestion that he do something about it. She questioned how she could marry a man with another woman’s name stamped on him – for her to look at, the rest of her life. Abby’s counsel was a bit shocking to me, but not surprising. She told him in effect that he needed to accept the man “warts (ink) and all.”
However you or I may feel about tattoos is beside the point. This is about a person’s ability to have their spouse exclusively. This is about a human being being able to be jealous for their spouse. I don’t know about you, but if my girlfriend had a tattoo on her body of a former lover I would probably call the relationship off immediately, especially if she got defensive about how it offended me. Just saying.
However, we live in a day and age where jealousy seems to be a greater sin than adultery. We’re all just supposed to allow our spouses to talk to whom they want; text whom they want; have lunch with whom they want; buy gifts for whom they want; flirt with whom they want; and God forbid, in some cases, have relations with whom they want. And if the offended spouse gets jealous, well, that’s anathema! You must have something wrong with you! You need to see a psychiatrist or have that demon of jealousy prayed off of you! Oh, really?
Thank God Proverbs would not agree with this modern madness. It is dispelled in one sentence, jealousy is a husband’s fury. Or as the KJV has it, jealousy is the rage of a man. I don’t think Solomon is condoning raging jealousy – he is simply stating the facts as they are. He is articulating how people feel about being offended in this way. Sadly, some people can’t put themselves in a position to understand the emotions of adultery or “cheating” so he spells it out in a way that even a child could understand. When a man (or woman) is cheated on romantically, there is an anger and resentment that comes that cannot be purged by gifts. A thief can repay what he/she stole; but an adulterer has stolen something that can never be righted. It opens up a wound that only God can heal.
Marriage is honorable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge. (Hebrews 13:4)
I suppose I am just talking here. But I am deeply disturbed today by the flippancy in relationships. it’s hard to open a newspaper, read an internet news story, or any other media without being confronted with the promiscuous spirit of this age. Does anyone understand today that you are supposed to be true to your spouse and that whoring around is a sin that God is going to judge? And we have to call it what it is even if it is politically incorrect. A thousand theologians could try to convince me that jealousy is a “sinful emotion” and I would beg to differ. I know better. This is one of the reasons why this generation is so adulterous in the first place. People think nothing of taking the romantic love that belongs exclusively to their spouse and share it with others.
Nevertheless, for the record, my wife is my wife and she belongs to me in a way that I am not sharing her romantically with anyone. Every man should feel that way as should every woman towards her husband. My wife is not to be the object of flirting by other men. Duh! She is not to conduct a texting or luncheon relationship with another man. Duh! This is true of all married people. No marriage should be exempt. It makes me wonder, why should I even have to say these commonsense type things? Answer: Because this is an evil and adulterous generation, that, by and large does not get it.
Should a woman have to look at another woman’s name on her man? Should a wife have to tolerate her husband sexting other women or flirting with them at the local convenience store? Are marriage supposed to be open like that? I trow not. Call me old school. Call me a jealous chauvinist. It still don’t change the facts. It should be common sense that men and women in committed relationships should be true to one another. It might be 2014, and the brain washers in the schools and media may have made great strides; but the reality remains. Be true to your spouse! Don’t do things to provoke them to jealousy and then act like they are the problem. You are the problem!